In honour of St. Patrick's Day, I'm put in mind of a story of my nephew Conor (named after the main character in the fine Ireland-based novel, Trinity):
Conor was maybe 4 or 5 when he asked his mother, "Are leprechauns really 'efficient predators'?"
Laura was totally confused and asked Conor to explain what he meant. The wee lad said that he had seen a TV show on leprechauns and they were described as 'efficient predators' that like to rip their prey's belly out with their long, sharp teeth before dragging the dead bodies into the treetops. Laura assumed that Conor had somehow seen that horror movie about leprechauns and assured him that they're not real.
Conor told his mother that he had indeed seen real leprechauns in the TV show and that he had been having nightmares about having his belly ripped out by an "efficient predator" before being dragged into a treetop. Laura explained how movies use special effects -- makeup and puppets -- to make pretend things look real. Conor was still dubious, described the leprechaun he had seen, and asked his Mom if she thought that sounded like a puppet or if they had just used makeup to put spots on a regular cat. That's right. Conor was disturbed by a documentary he had seen on leopards but just remembered the name wrong. And then Laura had the harder task of explaining that while leopards are indeed real and "efficient predators", he would never see one outside of a zoo and never have to worry about being dragged into a treetop after having his belly ripped out.
When Conor was little, he often had these moments of deep confusion that resulted from completely logical misunderstandings. Once, when I was walking my dog with Conor, we saw a man who was cutting laminate flooring on a tablesaw in his driveway. When Conor asked the man what he was up to, he said, "I'm just putting a floor down in my basement." Conor looked very pensive as we walked along and he finally asked me, "So that man's basement didn't have a floor before? When he walked down his stairs, was it just a big hole that went down forever?" I love that Conor's mind went there -- that is literally what that man had said, and wouldn't that be a frightening mental picture to a kid? Another time, Laura told Conor that she and I were going to climb the CN Tower in Toronto for a charity fundraiser. He looked really concerned for a while before asking, "Will they at least give you some ropes?" I love this kid:
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| This is why monkeys shouldn't jump on the bed. |
And speaking of leprechauns, here's my own fadder, sharing a St. Paddy's Day dinner with his wee doggy:
And me Uncle Mikey:
Faith and begorrah, would ya look at da fangs on dem tings? Logic does not apply.
