Tuesday, 25 August 2026

Son of Nobody

 



Between the mighty ships of the two great kings,
Zeus-like Agamemnon's one hundred sea-borne
fortresses, and those of his brother, fierce
Lord Menelaus's sixty grand warships
rested on the sands the awe-striking vessels
of god-feared Diomédes, eighty in all.
And next to these, on the Agamemnon side,
lying in wait like a lion about to pounce,
crouched the forty proud ships of Midea,
on which arrived Psoas, the son of nobody.
"What a magnificent sight, our armada of
one thousand one hundred and eighty-six warships!"
said he. "We will make good of our time here.
To take from the rich Trojans, what a dream."

 





Kennedy is kind of having an "Odyssey Summer" — she has seen Christopher Nolan's movie on IMAX screens, twice; her book club read Song of Achilles; and based on my recommendation that it's the better book, she followed that up with Circe — so when I saw that there was an event at Stratford that would see author Yann Martel in conversation regarding his new novel Son of Nobody, I asked Kennedy if she would like to buddy read the book with me and come along to the event; she was interested, so that's what we did.

To begin with the new book: It was just okay. I did like that it was a retelling of The Odyssey from a commoner's POV — the bits that made up the "discovered" epic, The Psoad, were nicely done — but the counterpoint narrative of the academic who pieced the epic together was fairly heavy-handed and predictable; I found little artistry in it. I would give it three stars overall. Just okay.

But when we were done reading Son of Nobody, and before we discussed it, I asked Kennedy if she had ever read Martel's first big novel, Life of Pi, and since she hadn't, and because I was afraid it might be spoiled for her at the discussion because of some crossover themes, Kennedy read it last week, too. And she loved it, as did I back in the day.

We talked about both books as we drove to Stratford, and I asked her if she knew anything else about Martel. Since she didn't, I told her how honoured the author had been to receive a letter from Barack Obama, congratulating him on Life of Pi, because he had found it to be "an elegant proof of God" (which was the big metaphorical payoff that I was afraid would be spoiled for Kennedy at the discussion). And then I told her how, when Martel read that our own Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, was quoted as saying he didn't read fiction, Martel proceeded to send Harper a book, every two weeks for four years, and collected his recommendations (and accompanying letters) in 101 Letters to a Prime Minister. And while I 100% agree that reading fiction is mind-expanding and promotes empathy and the understanding of diverse POVs and experiences, even at the time, this felt like a smug stunt. I then told Kennedy how Martel had once famously said that Canada was just a "Grand Hotel" that people can check in and out of without needing to feel any responsibility toward or need to commit — a quote which our next Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, used as proof that Canada is the "first postnational state in the world", and some would say, led to a drop in patriotism (a word now used negatively in Canada and mostly linked to far-right extremism and Albertan separatism).

So Kennedy asked if I actually like Yann Martel, wondered why we were even going to the discussion, and I replied that of course I like him: Life of Pi is a fairly perfect novel, and while sometimes an author really only has one good novel in them, I was very interested in hearing him speak in person.

The talk was interesting enough — Martel was a little smug discussing his artistic choices for Son of Nobody (which hadn't blown me away on the page; even his explanation for his main character's name, "Harlowe Donne", didn't really justify choosing something so disarmingly twee), and while the concept of adding a commoner's story to the foundational text of Western culture is admirable (we are mostly commoners after all), he did nothing to add women to the story, and as a matter of fact, Kennedy and I were both a little annoyed that Martel seemed to denigrate the recent, and celebrated, new translation of The Odyssey by Emily Wilson (the first published translation by a woman, and the source for Christopher Nolan's epic fim).

Now, before the event started, ushers handed out cards and pencils for the audience to ask questions in the Q & A portion, so Kennedy and I did some thinking on what we'd like to ask. She ended up asking if Martel had intentionally planned to have this novel release the same year as the film. And while the question wasn't read out, at one point Martel happened to mention that it was all a coincidence (which may not have seemed truthy; both projects were in the works for years.) Kennedy joked that I should just write, "Where do you get off?", but I did write: If, as you have said, Canada is just a "Grand Hotel" and citizenship nothing but "an act of faith", does it even matter if we become the 51st state?

In the course of answering audience questions, Martel often went off on political tangents, many times referencing the "madness" south of the border, so after one particularly scathing tirade, interviewer Ali Hassan held up a notecard and said, "I don't know if I should read this one, but it came from the audience, and it seems to tie in to what you were just talking about," and then he read my question. And the audience collectively gasped (Kennedy described it more as a groan, but I think we each heard what we expected, lol).

Martel sighed a bit peevishly and said that that quote had been taken out of context for years, but added that there had been a time when the idea of the ten Canadian provinces becoming part of the sixty United States of North America was an interesting one (why was I the only one who gasped at that?), and he went on to give a non-answer about how European countries had been good at extractive colonialism but not good at spreading Western values around the world, whereas the Americans had won the world-wide culture war through Capitalism (there are McDonald's restaurants everywhere!), but obviously, as their current President demonstrates (and he went on a tangent here about Ulysses S Grant), the American presidency has long been occupied by larger than life characters, whereas our own leaders tend to be boring and safe. In a way, it did feel like I had asked "Where do you get off?" and it felt kind of exciting to have made a small impact on the conversation; even with a non-answer.

Overall: I am really happy to have read the novel — and especially alongside Kennedy and her Odyssey summer — and also happy to have had this experience with her; Yann Martel is a globally respected author and a thought leader and I don't have to always agree with someone to learn from them. (Although Kennedy and I noted that we had a more enjoyable time the last time we went to one of these events — a discussion of Gothic Literature with Margaret Atwood, Mona Awad, and Naomi Alderman — that I used in a Halloween post, here; and not just because the testosterone levels on stage were a little lower.)


I acknowledge that this is no kind of book review, but I will record the fact that Son of Nobody felt like a three star read.






Thursday, 20 August 2026

Tunesday (Part II) : Something to Talk About

 


Something to Talk About
(Written by Shirley Eikhard; Performed by Bonnie Raitt)

People are talking, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under cover
I'll just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
Stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin'
Let's give 'em something to talk about
Let's give 'em something to talk about
Let's give 'em something to talk about
How about love?
I feel so foolish, I never noticed
You'd act so nervous
Could you be falling for me?
It took a rumor to make me wonder
Now I'm convinced I'm going under
Thinking 'bout you everyday
Dreaming 'bout you every night
I'm hoping that you feel the same way
Now that we know it, let's really show it, darlin'
Let's give 'em something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out, babe
Let's give 'em something to talk about
How about love, love, love?
Let's give 'em something to talk about, babe
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give 'em something to talk about
How about love?
Ooh, listen up, baby
A little mystery won't hurt
Let's give 'em something to talk about
How about our love, love, love, love?
How about love, love, love?



We happened to see an announcement last week that there were still tickets to see Bonnie Raitt in concert locally, so Dave and I decided to go. As I keep saying, I worry that there might be something sad about seeing performers that we used to listen to on the radio so long ago, now in their seventies and eighties, presumably past their best before dates. But once again, I was proven wrong: even at seventy-six, Bonnie Raitt's voice was powerful, her stage presence was authentically cool, and she skillfully added her bluesy guitar licks to an excellent back up band. Dave and I had a great time. We especially appreciated the love she voiced for her time in Canada and hope she's right when she says that she believes that the world will soon see the return of "love, justice, and science". 

Funny that this is the only Bonnie Raitt song that I could think of off the top of my head, but she didn't even save it for the encore; it was performed just past the middle of the set. Even googling "Bonnie Raitt's most popular song", Something to Talk About barely makes the top five. Huh, maybe it was just bigger in Canada. Either way, it was interesting to hear the singer say that it was recorded quickly, when her album "Luck of the Draw" was doing really well and she needed another single, and she found it amongst a bunch of songs written by Canadian Shirley Eikhard. All the more reason to like it.

And, as always, my favourite part of the evening was just hanging with my favourite human.



 

Let's give 'em something to talk about, babe
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give 'em something to talk about
How about love?


Tuesday, 18 August 2026

Tunesday : What Dreams Are Made Of

 


What Dreams Are Made Of
(Pitchford, D. and Wilder, M.) Performed by Hilary Duff

Hey now (hey now)
Hey now (now, now, now, now)
Hey now (hey now)
Hey now (hey now, now)
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night? (Such a beautiful night)
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright (shining so bright)
Then I see you smile and I go
"Oh, oh, oh"
I would never want to miss this
'Cause in my heart, I know what this is
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of (hey now)
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere I belong (belong)
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
This is what dreams are made of
Have you ever wondered what life is about?
You could search the world and never figure it out
You don't have to sail the oceans
No, no, no
Happiness is no mystery, it's
Here and now, it's you and me, yeah
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of (hey now)
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere I belong (belong)
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
Open your eyes (this is what dreams are made of)
Shout to the skies (this is what dreams are made of)
Then I see you smile and I go
"Oh, oh, oh"
Yesterday my life was duller
Now everything's technicolor
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of (hey now)
Hey now
Hey now (hey now)
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere I belong (belong)
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams (dreams)
Dreams (dreams)
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now, hey now (hey, hey, hey, hey)
Hey now (hey, hey, hey, hey)
This is what dreams
Hey now, hey now (hey, hey, hey, hey)
This is what dreams are made of (hey, hey, hey, hey)
What dreams are made of




Kennedy and Mal were the peak age for loving Lizzie McGuire when it was on TV, and Hilary Duff seemed so sweet and untroubled that Dave and I (apparently "tougher" than most of my kids' friends' parents) had no problem sitting and watching the show, and then the movie, with them. As a matter of fact, when the teenaged Hilary Duff left television for a music career, I proposed we go to her concert. And when I discovered that the Toronto show was sold out, I bought tickets for a show in Cleveland — which conveniently landed on our March Break — and we made a big family trip out of it. At the time (twenty-two years ago!) Hilary had a punk princess line of little girl clothes in the now defunct Zellers (Stuff by Duff), and Kennedy and Mal each got to choose an outfit and be prepared for their first concert, at nine and six years old (Mal lost a tooth on the drive there, they were so little). The tickets were not great — pretty high up and to the rear in a hockey arena — but it was really an incredible joy to witness your kids first having this kind of an interactive (singing and clapping) experience with someone they have long idolised through a screen. (Perhaps another time I'll write about the rest of that week and the fun we had at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the zoo, and the science centre; Cleveland was a serendipitously amazing destination after all).

Kennedy and Mal continued to follow Hilary Duff's career through the years — they even went to a Hilary Duff-themed drag concert a couple of years ago — and Kennedy was sorely disappointed when Duff had a very small show in Toronto last year, for which tickets were impossible to get. So when Kennedy told me that Duff would be having a big tour this summer, and confirmed that, yes, she would like tickets for her birthday, I got her a pair. And when it turned out that Zach had to travel for work over her birthday and the concert, Kennedy asked me to go with her. And let me tell you, the joy of watching that kid thirty-one-year-old woman singing along to every song, dancing and clapping and being at one with the thousands of other (mostly) young women who grew up alongside the still seemingly sweet and untroublesome Hilary Duff, was everything to me; what dreams are made of, as it were. And shall I point out the matching T-shirts Kennedy made for us? Hey now!

The concert was plenty of fun — the vibe with an audience filled with positivity was immaculate — and there were plenty of pyrotechnics and costume changes and Hilary Duff said all the right things to make young women feel connected and seen; so happy Kennedy decided to take me along.


I've got somewhere I belong (belong)
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams (dreams)
Dreams (dreams)
This is what dreams are made of






Tuesday, 28 July 2026

Tunesday : Throwing in the Towel

 


Throwing in the Towel
(Clay, J., Levine, J., Chance, Z.) 

Soda, I'm really a mess
Every night I worry myself to sleep
While you're watching cartoons
There ain't nothing I can do for you
I know that Ponyboy's really got a damn good heart
Something 'bout him that really could take him far
But I keep holding him down
I've run this family right into the ground
Maybe you'd be best without me
I don't know what else to say
I lost our brother and I lost my way
I think a fool could'a done better
Maybe I've been afraid to say
That I'm just not cut out for this
Just another failure on a growing list
And it's harder now than ever
It's more than I can take
There ain't no one to bail me out
There ain't no saving this now
I think I'm throwing in the towel
On the days when you feel
Like you're torn in two
Making dinner, paying bills that are overdue
You think that I don't see?
It'd go to hell if it was left up to me
And I don't know what we would do
If you were not around
The one to keep the ship afloat
When it's going down
Darrel, I need you
And anyone can see that Pony does too
I know you love him
That's all you gotta do
And I don't know what else to say
I know you feel like you've lost your way
But I think you're doing better
Better than you know
If he comes back there's a price to pay
What if they lock our brother away?
There ain't no way of knowin'
We've gotta get our brother home
This is the darkest hour of the darkest night
Looking up ahead you can't see no light
But the time is now or never
There ain't no letting go
You might feel like you're givin' out
We need you more than ever now
Don't go throwing in the towel
I know your head is full of doubt
But brother, that's what love is all about
Don't go throwing in the towel
When you love someone
That's all that you can do
There ain't no throwing in the towel



The grade eight teacher at my elementary school always chose to real aloud The Outsiders to his class, and when I was in grade six, he created a musical performance out of the story for the whole school, with him reading connecting bits and his students dancing, lip-syncing, pantomiming to appropriate songs (the only song I specifically remember is Cherry singing I Don't Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar after she first meets Ponyboy). I was one of those students who tended to be volunteered for things during school hours, so I was put on loan to this production to be a spotlight operator. I stood on a stepladder with a filmstrip projector and followed the action, the most exciting scene being the chaos the spotlights brought to the big rumble. The Outsiders would have been the first novel we ever studied, and the fact that I had become intimate with the story years before I actually read the book, made it very personal to me; wrapped up with my time in elementary school and my relationships with my own brothers. Because of this, and despite having been the targeted audience when the movie was released in 1983, I never saw it — that was the first time that I just intuitively knew that the book was too precious to watch on film, or ever reread.

But when Kennedy mentioned that she was going to the stage production in Toronto, and that the run was ending this past Sunday, Dave and I decided to go as well. Soon after we were seated, an elegantly dressed older woman (she had happened to mention that she graduated high school in 1969) sat beside me and we began discussing the book at her prompting. She told me that The Outsiders is the favourite novel of a fifty-something-year-old friend — who told her she must see the musical — and I shared the fact that I had read it in school but had declined to see the movie in order not to spoil my memories. We had a lovely conversation as we waited for the curtain to rise.

The first half of the show was a little slow — maybe because it was the touring cast, or perhaps that's just the way it always is; Dave and I were a little nonplussed as we discussed it at the intermission. But it certainly picked up in the second half, and when it got to this song, with the two brothers singing about their lost brother, everything hit me in a swirl of missing my recently deceased older brother and tears started streaming down my face. I turned to Dave and said, "It got me," and his eyes were teary too. (The final song by Dallas, Little Brother, was so powerful and so visceral and so well performed that the tears then came for real.)

When the show was over, the woman beside me said, "So what did you think?" I said, "Well, it made me cry." And she said, "I know. I was going to offer you a tissue, but then I started crying, too."

Any art that touches this jaded heart is a total win in my books. Stay gold, my brother.

You might feel like you're givin' out
We need you more than ever now
Don't go throwing in the towel
I know your head is full of doubt
But brother, that's what love is all about
Don't go throwing in the towel
When you love someone
That's all that you can do
There ain't no throwing in the towel

Tuesday, 14 July 2026

Tunesady : Mantra

 


Mantra
(Burrows, J., Martin, J., Chatwood, S.) Performed by The Tea Party

a thousand dreams within
within me softly burn
they burn the savage soul
that twisted what it learned
i feel this life slipping by
i can feel this life slipping by
desire is a state
a state of ill repair
it's ill prepared to cope
it's ill prepared to care
i feel this life slipping by
i can feel this life slipping by
time and time life's left me only
feeling sick and feeling scared
now love is strong
my love is strong
i'll go on and on and on and on and on
mercy is the cry of the soul that stirred
beneath the creeping vine
a flower tries to change
it tries to satisfy
it's thirst without the rains
i feel this change coming on
i can feel this change coming on
time and time life's left me only
feeling sick and feeling scared
now love is strong my love is strong
i'll go on and on and on and on and on
mercy is the cry of the soul that stirred
mercy is the cry and it's never heard
love is all we have
love is all we need



I had noticed there were a couple of concerts coming up that I thought my nephew, Conor, might enjoy seeing, so I sent him a couple of options and he chose The Tea Party. And the more I thought about how lame it would be for him to go with his aging auntie (me) in tow, the more I thought that it could be a bigger group of us; invite the whole family and make it a birthday party for him. In the end, only his mother was free, and since she was retiring this week, we made it a party of four, to celebrate them both.

We started the evening at our favourite Greek restaurant beside the theatre — free parking for the evening for dinner guests is one of my favourite life hacks — and I thought that it was pretty cool that the famously picky eater, Conor, ordered a gyro and Greek salad dinner and enjoyed the whole thing. (He has apparently never had Greek food before — not even in Greece — so that felt like a win for me.)

We walked over to Centre in the Square for the concert, and again, I was surprised to learn that Conor had never been there before (Laura had only been once), so from the start, the evening was kind of magical.

And although I don't know if I've ever even heard The Tea Party on the radio, the band totally blew us away. Such confidence and bravura performance. Maybe not the kind of music Dave and I would choose to listen to, but they put on an amazing show that totally worked as a celebration for these family members who have experienced such loss this year.


love is all we have
love is all we need


Tuesday, 7 July 2026

Tunesday : White and Nerdy

 


White and Nerdy
Written and Performed by "Weird Al" Yankovic

They see me mowin'
My front lawn
I know they're all thinking
I'm so white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white 'n' nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white 'n' nerdy!
I wanna roll with
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I'm too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Really, really white 'n' nerdy
First in my class here at M.I.T
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library
My-MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo, I know Pi out to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper, I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal well I'm number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
They see me roll on my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm
White 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white 'n' nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white 'n' nerdy!
I'd like to roll with
The gangsters
Although it's apparent I'm too
White n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
How'd I get so white 'n' nerdy?
I've been browsing, inspectin'
X-Men comics you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized the Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you "ROTFLOL"
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop pop! Hope no one sees me get freaky!
I'm nerdy in the extreme
And whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and Glee club
And even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
I got my name on my underwear!
They see me strollin'
They laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
I'm so white 'n' nerdy
Just because I'm white 'n' nerdy
Just because I'm white 'n' nerdy
All because I'm white 'n' nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white 'n' nerdy!
I wanna bowl with
The gangsters
But oh well it's obvious I'm
White 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
I'm just too white 'n' nerdy
Look at me, I'm white 'n' nerdy!



Mal and I went to Niagara Falls to see Weird Al on Sunday evening (Mal's birthday present this year) and we had a whole lot of fun. We thought it would be funny to show up in matching Hawaiian shirts, but as it turns out, all the white and nerdy cool kids in the audience were wearing Hawaiian shirts; quite a few even had a pattern with accordians on them that I have to assume are sold through Yancovic himself. I did find it bemusing that Weird Al did his big hit "Fat" wearing the fat suit and everything so I asked Mal later if that seemed inappropriate in 2026, and as socially conscious as Mal is, we concluded that it was OK: the audience at a Weird Al Yankovic concert understands that the joke is a parody of Michael Jackson's monster song "Bad" and its amazing video (a definite punching up) and not a joke about a fat person dancing around (which would be a lazy swat downwards). Without that context, it might be a bit offensive to the uninformed viewer, but we also agreed that the uninformed don't have a right to never be offended.

The opening act (nowhere did it say there would be an opening act) was Puddles Pity Party, and although I had never seen him perform (I have seen his image around online), I was fairly enchanted by his sad clown schtick; he can definitely sing. Mal was less amused; his ironic multimedia performance didn't land as funny to Mal (or to the young boy beside me who moped and fidgeted through the whole thing).




It was cool that Weird Al came in singing through the entrance nearest to us (just steps away), and then it felt like a party. He did all the songs I knew and a whole bunch I didn't — he even performed the themesong he wrote for the Captain Underpants movie, clips from the film playing along on a big screen — and every time focus shifted to the big screen after a number, Weird Al (and often a bunch of his band members) would appear in costume (Amish, Ricky and Lucy, white and nerdy), and the big encore had everyone return to stage in costumes from the various Star Wars movies, doing a song that Mal knew and was expecting.

Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop pop! Hope no one sees me get freaky!

Overall, it was a really fun evening, and especially because I got to spend it with just Mal; something that never happens often enough.



Tuesday, 30 June 2026

Tunesday : Mother and Child Reunion

 


Mother and Child Reunion
Written and Performed by Paul Simon

No, I would not give you false hope
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, little darling of mine
I can't for the life of me
Remember a sadder day
I know they say let it be
It just don't work out that way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
No, I would not give you false hope (no)
On this strange and mournful day
But the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, little darling of mine
I just can't believe it's so
Though it seems strange to say
I never been laid so low
In such a mysterious way
And the course of a lifetime runs
Over and over again
But I would not give you false hope (no)
On this strange and mournful day
When the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh-oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away
Oh-oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away
Oh, the mother and child reunion, oh
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away, away, away



Dave and I saw Paul Simon in concert in Edmonton in 1991; it was the Born at the Right Time tour and he and his band played a bunch of songs from Graceland (Ladysmith Black Mambazo wasn't a part of this tour, but there was some fancy stomping footwork by the band) and a bunch of Simon & Garfunkel hits and it was simply a joyful and memorable experience for us. So when we saw that Paul Simon, now in his 80s, was touring last year, I told Dave I wasn't really interested in going; I'd rather remember the wonderful show we saw when Paul Simon was closer to his peak.

But, knowing that Dave was disappointed by that, when I saw that he was touring again this year, I told Dave that we should go. And when I told our kids that I had bought second row tickets for me and their Dad to see Paul Simon in concert, they both said, "Without us? You raised us on Paul Simon and you're going to see him without us?" So, I then bought tickets for them, too; not second row, but that's life, lol.

This was called the Quiet Celebration tour, and apparently, as Paul Simon has recently suffered profound hearing loss, the volume was down on the concert: certainly enough sound to fill the indoor/outdoor RBC Amphitheatre, but not quite loud enough to drown out those who would talk throughout the concert behind us (at Kennedy and Mal's seats, it was the young security guards yakking nearby through the concert that annoyed them.) The performance was in two halves: the first thirty minutes was Simons' recent hymnlike work Seven Psalms, and I was delighted when his wife, Edie Brickell, joined him on stage for the higher pitched, and the whistling, parts (I honestly didn't know they were still together; I admit that I got a bit of a thrill from seeing her walk out onto the stage.) After a brief intermission, Simon returned to perform the familiar hits and the crowd went wild.

Yes, his voice isn't where it was when we saw him thirty-five (!) years ago, but Simon kind of embraces that; there's a kind of knowing maturity to the performance that saves it from being sad. And when the thousands in the audience are singing along, the joy is still there. When he started performing Father and Daughter, and Dave recognised it as the song that Kennedy had chosen as their first dance at her wedding, he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, "I can't believe he's playing this, it's such a deep cut." (And on the other hand, Mal had been hoping to hear Call Me Al because that's their token karaoke song with a "Call Me Mal" twist, and was disappointed that it hadn't made it to the setlist.) Overall, it's the sharing of this experience — albeit somewhat separately — with the kiddos that made this concert the most special to me. That, and standing stage-side, directly in front of Paul freaking Simon as he performed Bridge Over Troubled Water, solo, during his encore, was pretty freaking cool. (There was no particular reason I chose this mournful song other than it mentions "mother and child", and is a banger.)


Oh-oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a motion away
Oh, the mother and child reunion
Is only a moment away




Wednesday, 24 June 2026

1944-2026, Rest in Peace Aunt Suzie

 


Yesterday was the funeral of Dave's aunt, Susan. There had been some friction between her and Dave's Mom over the years — a grudge that Dave held onto far longer than his mother did — but as I have long said, Susan was always very kind to me and I truly enjoyed the time we spent together as a large, extended family (even if those get-togethers haven't happened since the passing of Dave's parents, five years ago now).

We heard that Susan was in long-term care, and after a brief stay in hospital, she was returned to Sunnyside, and within a day of her return, had become unresponsive. I asked Dave if he thought we should go visit, and after some hemming and hawing, he agreed; not for Susan's sake but as a gesture of support for his cousins. So last Thursday we made our way over after dinner and I am so glad that we did: the cousins, Shannon and Jeff, met us outside and sort of collapsed into our arms for hugs, crying with gratitude and exhaustion. The two of them had been sitting vigil since Sunday, not sleeping very well in the room's cot or chair; both of them afraid to leave for even a shower lest their mother be alone at her time of passing.

We went up to Susan's room and could see that she was obviously near her end. We sat together for a few hours, telling stories and sharing laughs, and Jeff and Shannon said that they could tell that Susan could hear us and was enjoying herself. The most remarkable story they told us was that on Monday — nearly a day after Susan had become unresponsive — she suddenly blurted out, "Bev! Bev! Wait! Beverley, wait for me! Bev!" And those would be Susan's last words: a plea for her big sister to wait for her, as would have been her complaint when they were growing up. Being five years apart in age, my mother-in-law always said that she hated it when their mom would make her bring Susan along when she was meeting up with friends. So in the present, we sat there and marvelled at the idea that Bev was probably waiting just out of reach of the bed-bound Susan, telling her that it wasn't quite time for her to tag along yet.

Many more stories were told that evening, we had a teary hug good-bye — reminding the cousins that we are all family and we're here for them for whatever they need — and Susan passed just a few hours later. And, of course, we were grateful to have been able to make our visit in time, and especially for Jeff and Shannon's sakes.

The next couple of day saw Shannon texting Dave quite a bit — she needed info on the family plot at the cemetery and the funeral home needed information on their grandparents (for some reason) that Dave was able to get for them — and eventually Jeff texted to ask if Dave could be a pallbearer. Of course, he replied. And then on Sunday night, Shannon texted to ask if Dave could do Susan's eulogy. And although that was more of a minefield for a nephew who didn't really like his aunt, Dave agreed to do that, too.

Dave stayed late at the office Monday night writing bullet points for his eulogy — relying heavily on the stories Shannon and Jeff had shared with us the week before, making much of the obvious devotion Susan had inspired in her children — and while, after reading his notes, I agreed that he didn't know much more about his aunt than he had included, I had trouble sleeping that night, reworking the script in my mind. As I always get up so much earlier than Dave, I had time to type out an alternate eulogy — one that made a point of naming each of Susan's six grandchildren, made a point of acknowledging the love and care she had received from her husband, and one that made a cohesive narrative out of the handful of anecdotes — and Dave agreed to add the changes. And since Kennedy came to our house before we all left for the funeral together, she also helped to smooth out a few bits and make valuable suggestions as her Dad practised reading it aloud.

There was quite a large crowd at the funeral home and we enjoyed getting to see the rest of the family, and especially the children who are all now teenagers. The minister gave a lovely eulogy of her own — I don't know if she actually knew Susan (or was just the funeral home's incredibly compassionate resident chaplain), but she had obviously had a meeting with Shannon and Jeff, had really listened to what they had to say about their Mom, and was able to make a beautiful narrative about Susan's life. Dave was called up for his eulogy, and of course he absolutely crushed it. People laughed and cried — I looked over at Rudy after Dave told the "Wait for me, Bev" bit and she was bawling (just like she did when we told her about it on the phone on the way home from visiting Susan).

We had a nice visit over the luncheon sitting with Susan and Bev's cousins, and when it was time for the interment, only family made its way to the cemetery forty-five minutes away. There was a lovely bit of ceremony at the graveside — I especially liked that everyone was encouraged to place flowers in the handles of the casket so that Susan could be "buried in a flower garden" as she was lowered into the ground — and looking around at this gathering of red-eyed, grieving family, it was obvious that no matter what friction there ever was between Bev and her little sister, Susan had spent her time as a mother, wife, and grandmother intensely loving these people; Susan is a woman who was loved and honoured and who will be sorely missed. (I asked permission from Shannon to take a few carnations for Bev's adjacent grave, too; she is also sorely missed and Shannon was happy to share.)

Again: I am grateful that Dave and I were able to visit Susan (and Shannon and Jeff) before her passing, and doubly so because it gave Dave the material for a touching and appropriate eulogy. You never regret the time you spend showing up for others, and before we left the cemetery, there were many vows made that we will all spend more time together going forward. And I hope that we do: Susan would have wanted it; Bev would have wanted it; these are incredibly nice people and I am happy to count them as members of my family. Rest in Peace, Susan; you've earned it.