Quarantunes : Lean on Me

Lean on Me

(Written by Bill Withers) As Performed by ArtistsCAN

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise,
We know that there's always tomorrow.

Lean on me when you're not strong
I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show.

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand,
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand,
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load
You have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me.

Call me if you need a friend
Call me, call me, uh-huh
Call me when you need a friend
Call me if you ever need a friend
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me if you need a friend
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me, call me
Call me

It's pretty weird to me that, going into the seventh week (!) of isolating at home - probably the most significant global crisis of my lifetime - I have not been moved to comment on my experience; and even today, I'm only doing it out of a feeling of better late than never. I guess the problem is that, while "inconvenienced" by not working or socialising or freely popping out to pick something up from the store, COVID-19 isn't really affecting me; I don't know anyone who is or who has been sick (although I hear about people who know people), and while I understand and agree that I have a duty to stay home to prevent widespread death and tragedy, it just feels surreal to sit here, day after day, so listlessly. In the first week, I thought I'd get the house deep-cleaned, but I gave that up after a few rooms...I've read and reviewed something like twenty books so far, but it's not really giving me joy...Dave is still going to work every day (and is dealing intensely with COVID outbreaks in the plant), Mallory spends more time in her room than she does down here with me (and for her own mental health, she is certainly free to spend this time any way she needs to), so I'm mostly here alone, not even wanting to call anyone to connect. This isn't like a holiday or a rest or a mental reset - but neither is it hard or particularly stressful - my days just feel empty and endless. So, yeah, not much to write about.

We are very fortunate that with the majority of COVID-related deaths in Ontario occurring in long term care residences, Granny is in a facility that hasn't experienced an outbreak of any kind (which is not only so important for her physical health, but the continuing health of the workers gives the whole place an air of optimism). That picture at the top is of us having our weekly videochat with Granny, and while on some calls she gets weepy (mostly out of the joy of seeing us, but also not completely understanding why we don't come in person any more), it's funny that she usually wants to say goodbye after five or ten minutes. While in isolation, Mallory has been practising her guitar playing and is really starting to get good at it, so Dave asked her one week if she'd play a song for her Granny over the videochat (after we ran out of things to say and Granny was weepy). Mal started playing some Elvis - Can't Help Falling in Love - and when I recognised what it was, I started singing, and then Dave started singing, and then I noticed that Dave had stopped singing and I gave him an elbow to start him up again...but then I noticed that his eyes were watering up, and when he pointed at the video monitor, I could see that Granny was singing along from the nursing home, tapping her hand in rhythm against the armrest of her wheelchair; that touched Dave deeply and he couldn't sing anymore. Hopefully she was feeling that extra bit of connection, too.

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to get the proper tools to give our bitey boy, Cormac, a hair cut and I think he turned out pretty good:

There are worse things than having to have an Easter dinner in quarantine (I am very aware of and grateful for the privilege of having continuing access to food and all other necessities) and ours was made better by having Kennedy and Zach with us by video chat (which then lasted for something like four hours):

Kennedy and Zach are both fortunate to be continuing to work from home (although Kennedy might say that she'd rather have been laid off, like so many of her coworkers, and collect relief payments instead), and out of a need to get out of their home one Saturday, they took a drive to the sugar shack to pick us all up some maple syrup (and some maple candies for Granny) and came here for a (totally socially-distanced) lunch with us. Great to see them but so weird to keep our distance (weird also for Kennedy to carry a can of Lysol with her everywhere to disinfect everything, lol):

(Did I mention that Kennedy broke her finger playfighting with Zach?) Rudy called one day to say that she had taken her Dad out for a short drive and was going to bring him over for a (socially-distanced) driveway visit. (Apparently it took him a while to get ready because Grandpa hadn't had shoes on in four weeks, lol.) I texted Ken to come over and say hi, too, and I guess the saddest thing about that is, even with my brother and his family right across the street, I don't seem to see or talk to them...like, ever. (Just one of the many things that makes me ask, "What's wrong with me?")

Because Grandpa's birthday was last week, we went over to their house on Sunday for a (socially-distanced) visit and cupcakes (which Kennedy brought, as she was ready to get out of her house again; this time alone, ha ha), and that's about all the people I've seen. I have had some video chats with my team from work and my book club, but I don't contribute much; I guess I'm not actually missing the stress of needing to talk to people - and that's probably not a good thing. I kind of feel the way I did before I decided it was time to get a job outside the house again - irrelevant and impotent and invisible - and I know it will be good for me when I can get back out there. When I called my parents in the early days of isolation, I asked my Dad how he was dealing with staying home and he said, "No problem at all. I've been training for this my whole life." Which is true for him; probably true for me, too. Until I do go back to work, I'll just continue to keep people away with my (most appropriate) Plague Doctor mask:

And just a note on the song: I was more touched than I expected to be by the Stronger Together special - the Canadian vibe made it much more relevant to me than the One World Together : At Home special from the week before - and it made me smile to see the song open with Justin Bieber in front of Puslinch Lake (like, five minutes from here); I didn't even know that he and his wife were isolating up here (and then later I saw some articles on the support they've given to local health care workers, so good on them). Hopefully, this will all be over soon.