In My Life
(Lennon-McCartney) Performed by The Beatles
There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
In my life-- I love you more
Over the course of months now I've been reminiscing about my Stouffville days and my friends from that time, and for some reason, putting off talking about my best friend of all, Cora. I think maybe the topic is just too huge; there's no synopsis for an intense friendship that lasted through such a transformative time in my life. There are places and friends I'll remember all my life, but I loved Cora more.
We were an unlikely pairing: before we started hanging out, I don't even know who Cora's friends were, but I was always flitting from one best friend to another, always interested in what the majority of our classmates were into, though Cora seemed oblivious to any social pressures. The first I remember us spending time together was when I saw her walking alone after school one day, and when she said she was going to her tutor, I walked my bike beside her (I never had girls to walk with and this was a rare treat). Was this maybe grade 5? From that first overture, we started spending more and more time together, and eventually became inseparable (at least when we could be together; Cora lived out in the country like everyone else I knew).
Here's the defining foundation of our friendship: In some ways, I felt sorry for Cora. I thought I was smarter than her (I did better in school anyway), I thought I was better looking (I had boys at school who were interested in me), I thought I was cooler (see re:boys), I had a bigger circle of friends (I've spent weeks writing about this and that friend who I would hang out with even while Cora was my best friend), and yet -- never once did Cora defer to me; our tastes were her tastes, our plans, her plans. Everything about us would have made someone at the time think that I was the dominant, alpha female, and yet, I allowed the quiet, mousy Cora to dominate me (and even in retrospect, I can't see anything wrong with that).
Cora's parents were from Ireland and they soon brought me into their fold as one of their own; I started this post with a picture of a claddagh ring because they once brought me and Cora back the exact same silver rings from a trip home. Cora had three older brothers (Jamie was probably 8 years older and already away at University when we started hanging out, Sean -- 6 or 7 years older? -- was a sensitive artist/musician that I was secretly in love with all the years that I knew him, and Paul -- 4 or 5 years older? -- was a competitive boxer, and a pugnacious fitness freak by nature). She also had a younger sister who was a sweet and quiet presence who shared Cora's room, and as the youngest, Grainne was definitely the family's pet. Because the brothers were so much older than us, they were legitimate Beatles fans with a complete record collection, and because of their influence on Cora and her influence on me, we became Beatles fanatics by twelve-years-old (when the Beatles had been broken up for almost a decade; imagine that). We sang the songs, bought the T-shirts, and fantasised about our favourites (Paul for Cora, Ringo for me).
I can't overstate how influential the Beatles were in my young life; I pretty much gave up listening to contemporary music (and as that contemporary music was mostly the disco/new wave that I've been writing about so far, that's no real loss). And I can't overstate how close Cora and I became -- we were like sisters, and like sisters, we would get sick of each other if we spent too much time together. Although we never really fought, Cora was always stomping off or giving me the silent treatment in front of her family, and despite me feeling socially superior to her, and despite my inherently dominant personality, I never had a breaking point; I always came back for more.
When Laurie moved to our school in grade 7, we let her hang out with us sometimes, and when we all got to high school in grade 9, we became a firm group with Andrea added as our fourth (and as we were all Beatles fanatics, Andrea got to have John and Laurie was assigned George -- because her favourite, Paul, was already taken; that's just the way it works). Grade 9 was an intense year -- and I'm sure I'll eventually share some interesting stories from then -- and after I went with Cora and her family to Ireland the next summer, my family moved out to Alberta. Cora, Laurie, and Andrea all came out to visit me the next summer (and wrote to me for years), and Cora came out again to Alberta a few years later and I met her in Calgary, drove with her to Banff. Cora and her husband came to my wedding a few years after that and we exchanged Christmas cards for years until Dave and I moved back to Ontario and we all lost touch.
Cora was easy enough to find on facebook (I did know her married name), but with so much time passed and the intensity gone from our friendship, I'm too embarrassed to reach out and attempt contact at this point. Maybe some relationships are best preserved as memories. Okay, I had avoided the synopsis of this time, but there it is. Details to follow.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more
