2019 was a different kind of year for me: as this picture suggests, it was a year of trying to get more active out in the community (which accounts for a lower number of books read; a repurposing of my time that I wasn't unhappy to make), and it was also a year that saw my mother-in-law go into nursing care and my own parents downsize to a smaller house in town; it was definitely a year of feeling that ultimate clock ticking away at all of our lives. On the more positive, life-building, side of things, this year saw Kennedy and Zach get engaged (and the wedding planning that they've allowed me to be a part of is certainly life-affirming) and it has been just lovely having Mallory living at home again while she takes a new direction in her schooling. From getting a new puppy in January to exploring the Grand River (a big and diverse project that took me and Dave several months to complete), 2019 was a busy and fulfilling year.
To begin my annual recap, my top reads:
Top Five Fiction Released in 2019
LannyLushly lyrical and numinous, this is my favourite kind of read; my top pick of the Booker Prize nominees.
Inland
A bizarre plotline, set in the Wild West, with elevated writing; what's not to like?
The Nickel Boys
So well written: fascinating (disturbing) history plus heartbreakingly relatable characters makes for a perfect examination of race relations
The InnocentsBeautiful language and a heartrending story about lost innocence and the expulsion from paradise; I would have given this book the Giller Prize.
I'm going to award a tie to these two books for fifth place: they are very similar in their effectiveness at capturing honest, human moments. Lovely reads, both.
Top Five Nonfiction Released in 2019
My most essential/mindopening nonfiction read of the year.
A book every Canadian needs to read: this is happening and it's criminally disgusting.
From the AshesI'll say again that it's not the best-written book I've ever read, but it certainty challenged my ideas about the potential of those who live on the margins.
Fascinating history/narrative nonfiction that made for a very compelling read.
An essential read that does a wonderful job of humanising those with schizophrenia (honourable mention here to another engaging recent release on mental health, Good Morning, Monster.)
Most years I list more favourite reads than this (could it be because I read thirty fewer books than I averaged in the previous few years?), but I'll also note that among the also-rans, I particularly enjoyed some true crime investigations (Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered, The Forest City Killer, and to a lesser extant, Chase Darkness with Me); reads that add to my previously enjoyed list of books that attempt to center women into classic tales (The Red Word and The Porpoise); and this was definitely the year that I was most inspired by nature writing as memoir (How to Catch a Mole, Into the Planet, and Surrender: The Call of the American West). In that same vein, the most influential read of 2019 was definitely Birds by the Shore: the book that inspired me to look in my own back yard for a connection to nature, and that led to me and Dave having a number of awesome adventures in, on, beside, and above the Grand River that flows through Cambridge.
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| Our first foray to the Grand River |
To start with our Grand River adventures (related read: The Grand River: Dundalk to Lake Erie), we began by buying new bikes in order to train for The Tour de Grand; a community bicycle ride (not a race) that occurs every June. Dave and I enjoyed ourselves so much that we continued to bike 20 km of this riverside trail every opportunity we got throughout the summer. It was wonderful to watch the trees and other wild plants change throughout the season; to watch the river wend its way alongside us in intermittent glimpses; to have two deer race beside the path on our first ride; to see the colourful flash of blue jays and cardinals and my first ever oriole flit through the branches above.
I went on three different tubing experiences - twice with Dave (one of those times with Kennedy and Zach along as well) and once with Rudy - and I saw three different stretches of the Grand as I floated along. Note: the river, while fairly wide and long, is not particularly deep in these areas and it was not a lazy float; we often needed to get out and free ourselves from the rocks upon which we found ourselves stranded. K n o w l e d g e.
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| Nothing like a champagne picnic as we float along |
In early July, Dave and I went on a moonlit night paddle with Six Nations paranormal investigators with Kennedy, Dan, and Rudy (a story I saved for Halloween, here) and it was definitely one of the more exciting and intriguing experiences of the year.
I attended two different sunrise water ceremonies with Six Nations women (once with Dave, who was very moved by the experience, as was I), Dave and I checked out the Making Waves Festival (put on by Surf Cambridge, a group attempting to have a permanent surf wave device built in downtown Galt), and we drove over the Kissing Bridge in West Montrose (the last wooden covered bridge in Ontario).
We enjoyed dinner on a riverboat cruise with Dan and Rudy:
And in our coup de grace (what we referred to all summer as our dirtbag option), we hired a helicopter to fly us along the Grand River (which was spectacular in its flanking trees of September leaf colours), eventually landing at a Tim Hortons in St George - where we got out to buy coffees before taking off again for home - and this different perspective on the river was transcendent. Bonus: We had asked Kennedy to wait at the Tim Hortons to take our picture as we landed and she was able to fly back to Breslau with us.
These experiences were not only wonderfully connective to our natural environment but most of them turned into pleasurable social events as well. Everything about our Grand River exploration totally elevated this year for me and I can't wait to continue the project into 2020.
As I ended 2018, I was becoming less and less happy with my job at the book store. And when an opportunity arose in early 2019 for me to apply to become a local librarian, I thought that that more accurately reflected what I wanted to do with my time; as my job at the book store has become more about stocking and selling lifestyle products, I thought that getting back to working with books and readers would delight me. I applied for the job, listed a librarian who used to work with me at the store as one of my references, and then was absolutely crushed when I never even got an interview; between my current work experience and my long ago education, I really thought I was an ideal candidate. But then Dave's Mom was taken to the hospital, we were informed that she would likely never awaken from her hypotrophic dementia state, and when I contacted my managers to request an emergency leave of absence (so that someone could be with my mother-in-law day and night to await the inevitable), they were so understanding and so good to me that after Bev did wake up - and was sent home within a couple of days!! - I realised that that flexibility wouldn't have been available to me if I had switched jobs; I am exactly where I need to be and it's my relationships with the people I work with that truly define my job, not the nuts and bolts of my duties. As the year went on and I was called upon to help with my mother-in-law's care (which honestly didn't happen that often), I was reminded over and over again that my job has me ideally situated to be of such help.
And so to poor Bev: She has had a rollercoaster year - from near normal to totally incapacitated and back again - and throughout it all, her 82-year-old husband has been acting as her primary caregiver, needing to walk her to the washroom when she's able; needing to change her Depends when she's not. And as a man with congestive heart disease, our greatest fear has been that physically caring for a sick wife will literally kill Jim one day. And so, when Bev spent five days straight in bed at the end of November - not able sit up or even open her eyes - Dave called the Social Worker and insisted that his mother be put on the critical list for a nursing home. And just a few days later, she had been given a bed. Now, whether it's because they have her on a constant stream of low dose antibiotics, or whether her mental resistance is making it so, Bev has been (relatively) physically well and mentally aware enough to make it seem like she was hardly a critical case; if she had been this well at home, she could have stayed at home. And being at the nursing home is a kind of hell for her: Bev is aware enough to know where she is and insist that she wants to go home, but she's not aware enough to remember all of her falls and ambulance rides over the last year, to even remember that at least one of us goes to visit her every day. Rudy sprung her mother from the home on Christmas day to come spend the day with us and Bev was intermittently crying and laughing, "So happy to be with everyone again"; and then we had to take her back at the end of the day. Alzheimer's is a nasty disease and we'll have to wait and see what the new year brings.
Related: My own parents finally moved into Bridgewater this year, and while it's the best possible move that came none too soon for them, it is also a bit sad; a giving up to aging by two of the most independent and domineering people I've ever known. When we were in Nova Scotia this summer, I offered to come back and help them pack and declutter the lake house, and despite my parents never before accepting anything like help from me, they were both enthusiastically agreeable. I went back in September and couldn't believe just how old they had both suddenly become: Dad's eyes were suddenly gone fuzzy (a complication from cataract surgery that it would take him months to have dealt with) and he needed me to do the driving while I was there (a previously unimaginable transfer of control), and his bad knees and congested lungs prevented Dad from doing very much at a time (which also prompted him to tell me to stop whatever I was doing and sit down, too, so he wouldn't feel so bad; so little got done on that trip). And as for Mum: She looks like she could drop over dead at any minute, she hardly gets out of bed, and it was a big deal just to get her sat up on the couch so I could show her every item in the house to get a take or toss decision. So little got done that I offered to come back again a few weeks later for the actual move, and again, they surprisingly agreed. And again, my managers were lovely and told me to take whatever time I needed (reinforcing, once again, that it was actually a good thing that I wasn't wanted by the library), and I went back with Dave at the end of the month - between the two of us and some movers Dad hired, getting the move done. When I first got there on this second trip, Mum said that she wanted to go sit in the emergency room at the hospital until a doctor agreed to see her (she hasn't seen a doctor in a decade because, according to her, there are no doctors accepting patients), and despite me asking (repeatedly) when we'd be going over to the emerge, she eventually chickened out (leaving me to wonder just how guilty I will feel if she does keel over; she's a grownup, obviously, who can refuse to take care of herself, but where's the point at which someone else needs to insist? Does that point even exist?) I was left just very sad by this whole experience, and feeling helpless because they've chosen to be so far away from the rest of the family. Poop.
As for the other highlights of the year:
In January, we brought home our new puppy: a troublemaking minidoodle who is pestering me right now as I try to type. Good thing Cormac is cute and squishy. He's the one on the right in the photo. (Related reading: Cormac: The Tale of a Dog Gone Missing.)
I was invited along to a fancy girls sleepover at an Inn and Spa with Rudy and two of her oldest friends:
And while I've known Deb and Jenny for many years and they've always been lovely to me, I totally felt like a fourth wheel on a tricycle; I was not surprised when I wasn't invited to tag along with them on a Christmas house tour in November (that was also the weekend of Kyler's 50th birthday party, so we can assume that's why it was never even mentioned to me).
For live shows: We watched Mallory successfully direct Catch Me If You Can with the Laurier Musical Theatre Club (even though she was no longer a student there at that point); Dave and I saw Barenaked Ladies and Bryan Adams perform at this year's GIFT Gala and a Piano Battle at the Centre in the Square, an entertaining evening that I wouldn't have thought to go to if I hadn't won free tickets; we also went to the CITS to see Elton John's Greatest Hits as performed by Classic Albums Live with Dan and Rudy and A Bowie Celebration which featured Bernard Fowler of The Rolling Stones, members of David Bowie's band, and special guest Chris Hadfield (Ground Control to Major Tom...) We also went with Dan and Rudy to see mentalist Wij Silva at the TWH Social (eerily magical) and to see a comedy show (featuring Steve Patterson of The Debaters) at the Appollo Cinema (at which I acted like a total jerk). Dave, Mallory, and I saw Stephen Page at the Elora Festival and the two of them were dazzled to chat informally with him after the show:
We went to see Art at the St Jacob's Playhouse, just because it was starring Donny Most (it was just okay); the only play we saw at Stratford this year was Othello (and it was outstanding); and Dave and I were honoured and humbled to have attended an evening with Holocaust survivor Ben Stern and watch the short film about his life, Nearly Normal Man, that was hosted at the CITS just after Remembrance Day. Rounding off the year, Rudy and I went to see Elf: The Musical at the Hamilton Family Theatre last Saturday, and that was a fun exclamation point at the end of the Christmas season.
And as for travel: Dave and I went away with his work group in February for a relaxing weekend in Niagara Wine Country. And when we went on our annual trip to Nova Scotia this summer, I had planned ahead and booked oTENTiks at several National Parks, making for camping experiences that even Dave would enjoy. Taking him with us on our second trip around Cape Breton also turned out to be a great experience for all of us.
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| oTENTik! |
The Cabot Trail:
And it was during our semiregular summertime cottage rental at Sauble Beach that Kennedy and Zach became engaged:
In conjunction with the commitment to health and fitness that I've made by joining the gym with Rudy and getting more active in the neighbouring area with our Grand River project, Rudy and I entered the Mud Girl Run this year; soooo much fun!
I should also note here, on Dave's behalf, that this is the year he took up horseback riding as part of his own fitness/social journey; freeing that inner John Wayne with his buddies.
Other than the previously reported drama with our parents, Kyler's big birthday bash in November, and the achievement of my goal to read and review my 1000th book on Goodreads, the only other events of note would be wedding dress and venue shopping with Kennedy, and it would seem we have that (for the most part) sorted out. Such fun and just wonderful to be included.
Christmas was a busy time - but actually my favourite time to be at work; I love being an expert who can solve people's gifting dilemmas - and it is good to be here now, just me and a mellowing one-year-old fuzzy pup at my side, contemplating a busy, and overall happy, year gone by; looking ahead with plans and hope for another fulfilling year to come.
From me and this little guy, Happy New Year!
