Head Over Feet
(Morissette, A / Ballard, G) Performed by Alanis Morissette
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
This week I want to write about my brother Ken's wedding, and while I don't remember what their song was for their first dance (something obscure, I'm sure), I do recall that Ken and Lolo were big fans of Alanis Morissette; long before most people caught on. I remember Ken saying how he admired her transformation from teeny-bopper pop star - which I don't remember at all - into a legitimate artist, and I have to admit that it took me a long time to see the genius; but I eventually did. The specific song I've chosen is simply the most romantic from Jagged Little Pill; the album that came out the year Ken and Lolo got married.
Their wedding was September 23, 1995 - five weeks after Kennedy, the first baby in the family, was born. Since we were so poor, my parents paid for the plane tickets for us to fly back to Ontario for the wedding, and Ma had contacted the airline directly to reserve for us the bulkhead seats - the front row of the plane, which had a bassinet attachment on the wall in front of us (I had never noticed this before, and don't recall ever seeing anyone else using it). Naturally we were concerned that Kennedy would cry straight through the flight and annoy everyone around us, but I breastfed her during takeoff, putting her to sleep, and she pretty much slept through the whole thing (I don't recall if I ever actually put her into the bassinet, but I loved that it was there for us; better than first class.)
One thing I do recall precisely: After the fuss and excitement of Dave's parents coming out to meet Kennedy, I was wary about presenting her to my father for the first time. I warned Dave that I didn't want his feelings to get hurt - as I had already steeled my own - if my Dad didn't make a big deal over her. Dave thought I was crazy - this was my Dad's first grandchild, and of course he was going to make a big deal - but as I said to him at the time, "As his child, if there's one thing I know, it's that my father doesn't like children." And of course I was wrong - by the time we got to my parents' house, Kennedy was fussy, I was frazzled, and Dad took the baby from me and walked her around; alternating between shushing her and wailing back in her face with a huge grin on his face. Over the next week, every time Dad beamed at Kennedy or snoozed with her on the couch, I was almost jealous; I could have used some of that growing up. Ma said later that my Dad has always loved babies and I had no idea.
Ken and Lolo's wedding was to take place in her family's hometown outside Ottawa, and when they went up early to start getting things ready, Dave and I popped over to London to visit with his family (I think they had a family baby shower for us?) and it was awesome that my brother gave us the use of their car; acted like it would be a "huge favour" if we drove it up to Ottawa for them. We were so broke that this felt like a luxury vacation - driving around in a new Pontiac Sunfire, goggling at the beautiful roadside Ontario fall colours (such a stark contrast to the drab brown of the harvested fields we left back home in Alberta), and having my parents pay for a hotel room in Cumberland; if we were seriously debating at that point whether or not we should move back to Ontario, the loving presence and support of our families tipped the scales in favour of hell yes.
Now, before this wedding week, I had only met Lolo once. Ma had flown me out to Ontario for some reason, and Lolo and Ken were already living together in my parents' basement while she was finishing University. Ma got us tickets to go into Toronto to see Sunset Boulevard (starring Rex Smith!), and we had a pleasant, if slightly awkwardly quiet, evening (I remember Lolo was surprised that I wanted her to drive - coming from cowpoke Alberta, the highway into Toronto certainly intimidated me). Ken and Lolo met through my Aunt Judi, who was best friends with Lolo's mother, Barb, and they clicked immediately; moved in together quickly; got engaged at Niagara Falls on New Year's Eve while the Tragically Hip sang in the background. Judi and Barb were very active in their home parish - singing in the choir, polishing the church pews, cooking and cleaning and buying trinkets for their beloved priest (Father loves his angels) - but when Ken and Lolo went to this priest to arrange a wedding at his church, he turned them down; said that because they were living in sin together, he couldn't, wouldn't, join them in marriage. That was such a slap in the face to the pious and devoted Barb and Judi, but instead of being angry with him, they felt chastened; embarrassed. When Ken and Lolo pressed the point - this was the same church where Lolo had been Baptised, received First Communion, was Confirmed; it was her home parish - the priest decided to allow a willing priest from another parish to come perform the ceremony. Not a perfect solution, but acceptable. And while Barb and Judi felt it as an embarrassing incident for years to come, this was the thorny circumstance that led Ken and Lolo to leave the church; to not Baptise their own children. So, that's how a church becomes irrelevant; allowing individual priests to interpret the rules according to their own whims.
The days leading up to their wedding involved many family gatherings, with our grandparents (I don't think my Dad's Dad was well enough to travel), aunts and uncles and cousins all arriving and meeting Kennedy for the first time - what a fantastic opportunity this was for us to show her off. There was one party a couple of days before the wedding at Judi and Dennis' house, and after days of heavy rains, their septic system was swamped and they were forced to put a sign on their bathroom door that said: If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. Now, not to get too intimate, but as I had had a baby just weeks earlier, I was still shedding blood and decided to avoid using their bathroom at all (If it's red, live in dread?). Unfortunately, I didn't reckon on the looseness of my muscles down there, and despite not feeling like I desperately had to go pee, while I was out on the deck talking with Lolo at one point, something let go and pee just ran down my leg - it was the most bizarre and helpless loss of control I've ever experienced, and although I felt the blood drain from my face and the hair prickle on my scalp, I kept nodding as Lolo talked, and since I was wearing a dress and we were outside in the dark, the pee just ran down and away into the standing rain puddles and left no traces. Weird but ultimately not actually embarrassing and I was eventually able to slip into a bathroom and wash down my legs - without needing to flush. TMI? (I eventually told this story to Lolo - as a word of warning after she had her first baby.)
Ken and Lolo's wedding was an unfussy but lovely affair. They each had two attendants (a sibling and a friend; no room for me in the wedding party), and the ceremony itself was short but sweet. They then went back to Lolo's parents' house for unprofessional pictures - they did turn out lovely, but again, I wasn't a part of it - and then the reception was at a hall in the village (maybe at a Legion Hall?) The food was a buffet cooked by friends and family, and Lolo had baked her own wedding cake; Judi and Barb made the flower arrangements. And this had nothing to do with money - Lolo is simply an unfussy person who has never been impressed by gross displays; they saved their money for a European honeymoon and a down payment on a house.
My Dad cried during his speech welcoming Lolo into the family (which touched me, but also rankled me because I didn't remember him crying at my wedding), my other brother, Kyler, got drunk and spilled beer on Kennedy (Christine had to eventually drag the increasingly obnoxious Kyler away from the wedding; she has been his conscience for a whole lot of years; she had to babysit him at my wedding, too), and it just felt right to be around so much extended family with my baby in my arms. This experience totally sealed our decision to sell our house in Edmonton and make a home in Ontario.
*I couldn't find a wedding picture of Ken and Lolo around here, so those are the pics of them meeting Kennedy, the night I peed my pants*
