The Daves I Know
(Diamond, R / Pyle, D / Connelly, B / McCulloch, B) Performed by Bruce McCullough
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
David Hoffman
He works in my dad's store
He's worked here for 12 years
He'll probably work here for more
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Gort
I've known since I was six
In grade eight he broke his leg
So we got drunk and sick
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Some of them are Davids
[Dave Gort: But most of us are Daves]
They all have their own hands
But they come from different moms
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Jadiski
Man, this cat can swing
He weighs almost 50 pounds
And he delivers my paper on time
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Capisano
I hardly know him
...
[Bruce stands around, looking vaguely uncomfortable for the rest of the measure]
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
[Next two measures sung by the Daves Bruce knows: ] We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows
We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows
Some of us them are Davids
But most of us are Daves
We all have our own hands
But we come from different moms
These are the Daves I know, I know
[Daves: We are the Daves he knows, he knows]
[All: These are the Daves]
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
David Hoffman
He works in my dad's store
He's worked here for 12 years
He'll probably work here for more
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Gort
I've known since I was six
In grade eight he broke his leg
So we got drunk and sick
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Some of them are Davids
[Dave Gort: But most of us are Daves]
They all have their own hands
But they come from different moms
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Jadiski
Man, this cat can swing
He weighs almost 50 pounds
And he delivers my paper on time
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
Dave Capisano
I hardly know him
...
[Bruce stands around, looking vaguely uncomfortable for the rest of the measure]
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
[Next two measures sung by the Daves Bruce knows: ] We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows
We are the Daves he knows, he knows
We are the Daves he knows
Some of us them are Davids
But most of us are Daves
We all have our own hands
But we come from different moms
These are the Daves I know, I know
[Daves: We are the Daves he knows, he knows]
[All: These are the Daves]
So, as I wrote about last time, in January of 1989 I moved into a house with some buddies in Edmonton, and as I would now be expected to start pulling my own weight, it was time for me to finally get a job. I had worked in the restaurant industry when I was in high school, so I felt vaguely qualified to look for such work again; I just didn't want to be in fast food (as if I, with no money and no real work experience, could afford to be picky).
I don't remember it taking very long for me to see an ad for the restaurant at the Mayfair Hotel -- they were looking for a hostess and wait staff -- and that may have been the only job I applied for: the manager, Primo, hired me on the spot as the new hostess, with a promise that I would be considered for a waitress position the next time one opened up. I was excited to feel like I was finally beginning my adult life (I was now 21), and in addition to living with old friends and having a hilarious time together with them, I was now working around new people my age and having a hilarious time at work, too. And of course, this was where I first met my husband-to-be, Dave.
I wrote before about how Dave and I connected and started dating, and I also wrote before about how this affected Rob and my friendship with him; so that's not what I want to talk about this week. Although this particular story -- me finally applying for a job after four months of slumming in Edmonton and there meeting my future husband -- can be summed up in so few words, looking back, this moment marks one of the most important pivots in my history: I have so many (mostly sad) memories from my childhood and teenaged years, and they're all about me me me, but after this point in my memory, it seems like I have fewer "stories" and they all involve Dave, too; this is the beginning of us and I can honestly say that I was no longer the same person anymore. And that's not meant to be some bittersweet complaint: this is the moment I became an adult taking responsibility for my own life, and with Dave, I was able to build a fulfilling life and eventually a home where I felt safe. And this is no small thing: my parents were never again able to hurt me; I didn't always like the things they did after this pivot, but I was able to react to them as people making curious choices, not as people who had any power over me.
As for the song: The Daves I Know was performed on The Kids in the Hall at about the exact same time that I was meeting my Dave (fateful, I know). It was such a hit piece of comedy that in Edmonton, they were playing it on the radio, too (curiously, Dennis Leary's I'm an Asshole would also later get uncensored airplay, and become a kind of theme song to my Dave, lol). What made the Daves song even funnier to me was that there were so many Daves working at the Mayfair Hotel that I was often provoked to break out into the chorus when I'd see one of them, and here I will finally arrive at the punchline for this week's Tunesday: As I said, the staff at the hotel was pretty young and we all got along, and we joked and teased and gossiped with each other. One bar manager famously said one night, "If we need a message to get to all the staff, we have three methods of communication: telephone, telegraph, and tell-a-Dave." Badoom ching!
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know
These are the Daves I know, I know
These are the Daves I know