Dear Husband,
Every time we talk about our first date at Chianti's, it has become family mythology that you telling me about your favourite scene from The Untouchables – Kevin Costner taking the kill shot while simultaneously saving the runaway baby carriage; you acting it out in slowmo (the shot, the dive, the grab) until you were off your chair and nearly on the floor of the restaurant – this was the moment of connection; this was when we clicked. What I couldn't know at the time was that this was also a promise. Twenty-five years ago today I married you, and every day since, you have been that guy: the guy who can make the kill shot and save the baby at the same time; the guy who takes care of business and takes care of his family with equal dedication. In twenty-five years, you have never once brought a knife to a gunfight; never once stopped fighting 'til the fight was done.
What we never talk about is something that I said on that first date: in response to something or other you asked (I wouldn't have just come out with this, even if I can't remember what prompted it), I said, "I've never been engaged, but ever since I was nine years old, every boyfriend I ever had assumed that we'd get married; they would make these plans without ever asking me if I even wanted to marry them". This was meant to be jokey, but I remember you turning slightly sour and saying, "Don't worry, I won't be making plans to marry you". This moment was quickly recovered, but in my mind I was thinking, "We'll see about that".
Twenty-five years later – after moving across country together, buying four houses, countless cars, loving and letting go of two excellent dogs, birthing and raising two incredibly talented and accomplished daughters – after all this time and all that we've been through, can I just say one thing? I was riiiiiight...you wanted to marrrrrrry meeeee...you looooove meeeeee...
And I love you too, Dave. I can't wait to see what the next twenty-five years will bring.
That's my Facebook status for today and I just want to add one more thing: Dave and I were out driving the other night (getting Mallory a present for her high school graduation, actually) and I started thinking about this first twenty-five years of marriage. There really was a lot packed into these years – struggling in the early days, going from poor to not, and especially everything that revolved around the girls – and I posed to Dave this question: Looking at people like my parents and his parents who are now past their 50th anniversary, how do people fill those next twenty-five years? He figures eventual grandchildren will take up a lot of our energy and time, but as I pointed out to him, our parents love their grandchildren but aren't consumed with them.
I suppose that it's the not knowing that makes it an adventure.
 |
| I had to take Kennedy to Chianti's when we were in Edmonton. Natch. |
*Later edit: Dave isn't on Facebook, so I had to send him my post in an email in order for him to see it, and this is his (emailed) response:
Dear Wife,
I was planning on sending you this note even before you sent me yours but as usual…you were a step ahead of me!
I’m glad I was alone when I read it as I’m not prepared for anyone around here to see me get all misty…which I did!
That said, I had to strain my memory but I do remember you saying that and my response, but what you couldn’t know was that my response was not intended to be “sour” but just a reaction that I thought at the time was appropriate. I didn’t want to risk coming off un-cool or anything. Truth is I was thinking…"glad I didn’t start talk about what our wedding would be like or potential names of our future children"…too soon? In other words…you were riiiiiight...I wanted to marrrrrrry yooooou...I looooove yoooooou...
Safe to say, every Hallmark anniversary card overuses terms like “soul mate”, “my best friend”, “partnership” and “loyalty”…but my take is that these are for people that aspire to achieve even one of them. No matter what else I may or may not accomplish in my life I can say with the utmost confidence that each of these words have always and continue to define you and me.
My only wish in life is that Kennedy and Mallory find (or have found) what we have…nothing else could make me happier than I am today! I can’t wait for what the next 25 brings…now, the 3rd quarter…"yep I guess I did"…I can wait!
All my Love!
BD
That's better than anything Hallmark ever came up with.
(And Dave's last comment about the 3rd quarter was a reference to an inside joke he made about his Dad on his way out the door this morning; don't ask.)
